It won't Be Long Now...

It won't be long now before the trees start going up at the mall and the velvet chair comes out to greet the little ones (and Big ones in GP's case), and Autism Speaks just announced that it has partnered with Simon Property Group to offer children with special needs a time to go and meet up with the Big Guy. This is such a fantastic opportunity for parents to take their kiddos in and let them enjoy their visit without the pressures of "fitting in" and rushing them. 

I have so many stories that I could tell, but they all bring me to tears so I will just say Thank you, Autism Speaks and Simon PG. You have no idea how much this means to moms like me. 

Please share this information with any parent you know who has a child with disabilities. Let's not squander this wonderful gift of one on one time for our kiddos with Santa. 

For more info on this go to:

Autism Speaks Caring Santa

I'm so excited about this, and I'm sure I'm not alone. 

Back to School

     As some children head out to school for the first time and more and more pictures of them come up on my Facebook wall, I stop and wonder what this milestone must be like for parents of a typical child. 

     I only have one child (God knows what he does, I could not have handled more than that) and my experience, although life changing, was not typical. GP was non verbal, and there was no excitement. There was only dread. There was the thought that while other children his age stayed home and played blissfully, he would be in school struggling to communicate with strangers. He wasn't even potty trained. It was such a sad time. I remember sitting in my car and sobbing uncontrollably after leaving him at school. Then, I remember deciding that I would not leave him, and staying in school with him until I weaned myself off the drop off. It took a long time...

Again, it was a heart wrenching experience. There were no pictures, no smiling faces or Disney lunch boxes. It was such a horrible, horrible time. 

My FB wall has smiling faces, excited children, happy parents and once again I stop and think, "What if???" I will never know. 

April is National Autism Awareness Month

One in every 88 children in the US has some form of Autism. I can't write anything positive about Autism, not a single thing, so please do take the time to make yourself  "AWARE" of what it really means to live with Autism... 

I'd tell you if I could, but it's just too hard. 

If you know someone with a new diagnosis or someone who needs information, 

this is a great resource: Autism Speaks

I Have a Zero Tolerance Policy for Attitude

At forty five I feel I have lived a life far beyond my years. I feel that life's turns have tumbled me to where I am nowhere near what I thought I'd be "when I grew up". I studied hard, played hard and expected nothing but the best from myself, and for myself. You get not what you deserve, but what you work for and earn.

GP and I were at a local restaurant the other day and after the server had done one eye roll too many, one "What?" too many, and one "sigh" too many. I called her out. I did. It's been nagging at me for days. I can't let it go, and I know why. I have reached the end of my "Taking crap" line. Yep, I'm done

I have to tell you. I am so sick of people who think they are entitled to huff and puff at the "inconvenience" of having to write down "Lettuce and cheddar cheese only, croutons on the side, ranch dressing on the side, no garnish." I mean, really? Are you freakin' kidding me? Maybe the fact that I have spent MONTHS, teaching my son exactly how to phrase this so that he gets exactly what he wants, so he doesn't totally flip out and have an emotional meltdown at the table, has something to do with my zero tolerance for "attitude".

Teaching an autistic child independent living skills is no easy task. It means many, many embarrassing moments when the clerk stares at you with the "why don't you just tell me what you need lady, and leave the poor kid be?" look. It means you might get into a squabble right in front of the cashier because he refuses to figure out how much money he must give the person. It might mean that you hold up the line at the supermarket because you need him to count his change before he leaves, lest he be shortchanged. It's no small task. But one day I will be dead, and I know that he will be able to shop for groceries, make change, and eat out, among other things.

Children grow up and my once cute little boy is now turning into a young man, and because I have not had "autistic" tattooed on his forehead I have found that sometimes, some people, feel that they can treat him with contempt. It's subtle, but it's there. And I for one, will not stand for it. I think if more people were called out for their bad behavior they would stop being jerks. I think folks feel that they are safe hiding behind a badge and need to be called on it, so I am starting with the woman in the mirror.

The number of special needs children turning into adults with special needs is alarming. I guess everyone forgot that these kids grow up, and when they grow up they look just like anyone else, and if they are lucky, they talk and do things that everyone else does...except they do things in quirky ways.

Here's a hint, if someone is talking to you while staring at the table, they are probably NOT being rude, they are probably AUTISTIC. If someone is talking "at you" while on a cell phone, they are just being rude... see the difference? I was once at a restaurant where I actually told the server, "My son speaks English. Do you understand English?" Oh yes I did. She was some young Chickie whose every other word was "What?" and the more she, asked, the more GP flapped (stimming is an outward sign of happiness, distress, anxiety...); but I would NOT speak for him. I would sit there till the freakin' cows came home before I would say what I knew he could say. He could do it and he would, and I would not let that arrogant kid get away with being a jerk. Oh she clearly understood English, and after I called her out she "listened a little more carefully" and understood his order... I understand the need to have someone LOOK at you when they speak to you, I do. I struggle with it every day. I have a "Look at Mom" mantra going 24/7. But if the person is not looking at you, and clearly not distracted otherwise, wouldn't that be a clear sign that something is amiss with this person? Hello?????????????? The lack of empathy makes me angry.

If someone is telling you exactly how they want something, over and over and over. What would lead you to believe that of you keep asking the same question you won't get the same answer? "Do you want tomatoes on that?", "I want a cheese and lettuce salad with croutons on the side and ranch dressing on the side". So, you don't want onions on that?" "I I want a cheese and lettuce salad...." Hello? How many times do you need to hear the same sentence before your brain clicks to "ON" and tells you "This is a recording!" It drives me nuts. It's scripted language, it's obvious. It's so clear it could be water from a spring. Oh, OK...maybe not to everyone, but you really don't have to be the sharpest tool in the shed to get it, you really don't.

Scripted language is like a recording that helps autistic children cope with the anxiety of having to express their needs and wants to strangers. I don't expect everyone that I meet to know this. I just expect people who are in the service industry to realize that when someone is telling you exactly what they want and how they want it, you should just take them at their word and let them be. It's not rocket science. It's common sense.

So I had to vent and tell you that I now understand those angry old ladies that snap at people with very little provocation because I have turned into one of them. Be warned, if you are my server and you even glance at my son in any way that is not kind and caring, I will call you out on it. I will not sit there and pretend I don't notice because his life is too full of real challenges, he tries really hard to fit into "our" world, he is doing the best he can and if you can't or won't work with him, I'd like to see the manager because I have a zero tolerance policy for "attitude"!

April is National Autism Awareness Month

If this month doesn't end soon I am going to have a nervous breakdown!

That's all I'm sayin'...

It's All a Blur

Winter is particularly challenging for me personally. It's the lack of sunshine, the excess of snow, the cold weather that chills me to the core and the inability to make my son's days "fun" that make just hanging in there such a struggle. Fortunately for me, I have a long term plan that helps me through this "end of Winter" hurdle. It's called a Time Share. It's a Winter option that I have, if I can muster the courage to go.

For years I have hated my property because it has seen me at my worst and most vulnerable. It is a place where I meet autism head on and dare it to break me. Invariably, it beats the sh** out of me, but I dress my wounds and try again. Three years in a row GP broke my glasses while I was there. The nearest optometrist being a 45 minute drive, longer when you can't see where you are going. Oh wait, there was the year when he didn't BREAK my glasses he knocked them over and they fell into the baseboard! I had four men in the apt looking for my tiny wire rimmed glasses in a tan colored room. It took them a long time to find them but they did. My heroes! One year GP decided he liked the outdoor hot tub and went out at 6am to stand in the snow in his jammies watching it. You have no idea what it feels like to wake up in an apartment in the middle of the White Mountains (that pic is the view from my unit's porch) and discover your child is missing... and when it happens more than once??? The second time he was found standing by the pool, fortunately he had not jumped in, he was three or four at the time. It was so early, that's all I remember; it was so cold, and so early. By the third time he was spotted in the wee hours of the morning I was called to collect him (by then everyone knew of the little boy who was lost TWICE before), and a chain was put on my apt door to keep him in. I used a suitcase after the first time, a chair after the second. At the time we lived in a dead bolted house, and a card key entry was like an open invitation to wander. As I always say, my son is autistic, he isn't stupid! Needless to say, the chain was unnecessary, that day I simply packed up and went home. I was done. Remember GP was non verbal, non communicative. So you could ask him his name, where he Mommy was, and you would see nothing but a little boy who seemed like he was deaf... lost in thought.

Every year for one week, I would pull my son out of our home where he was safe and sound and take him to the Mountains. Every single year, something would happen. Something bad. In time it came to be an apartment full of bad memories, and I couldn't go there. I couldn't sell it though. I couldn't. I refused. I would not accept defeat. I just stopped going, but I paid it off and like a nest egg, just let it rest.

Last year we changed management companies and spent an extraordinary amount of money on renovations. After writing a check that rivaled my mortgage payment I decided it was time to go see what had been done. I dressed myself in courage and set off to face my fears.

I psyched myself up, and set off with GP. I knew I was "home" when I closed the door and the chain was still there. That chain is was like a scar, a battle scar. I caught myself standing there, staring at it and reliving that horrible stay so many years ago. But it didn't kill me and I was back. Stronger, wiser and ready for the challenge.

How much my dear boy had changed. How happy he was to be there. He was talking, choosing restaurants, making our schedule. Now he was planning sightseeing drives and checking show times at the local cinema. He was not waking up at 5am to wander in the night. He was sleeping in. I don't remember everything we did that week, it's all a blur... which is really a good thing. You know the saying, "No news is good news" ? That applies here. If nothing stands out, it just means it was all good. =)
They say that time heals all wounds but I am here to tell you that some wounds heal leaving scars so deep that you just have to stop pretending you don't see them. You have to stare at them and know that what has not killed you, has made you stronger. In my case, I faced my fear and this time, this week, I stared autism in the face and said Screw YOU!

I lived through it and if you are where I was, know that you too will live through this. It matters not what your challenge is. If you can make it through today, you have won. B.

Now Why The Heck Didn't I Think Of That?

Ever have one of those moments? I have them often but rarely when it comes to GP because I swear, I never stop thinking of ways to improve his quality of life. I try to always stay one step ahead of the challenges he will face when doing one thing or another but when I saw this video I had one of those moments.

I know many of you have children with Special Needs and I hope this will help someone who is just now reaching this crossroad. I have been there, done that; and I remember how sad I was when I gave away his first bicycle, then his second and lastly when I told Gino if he bought him a new bike I would lay it out in the middle of the road.... denial is a terrible thing.

I also remember the joy in my son's eyes when he finally, at the age of fourteen, got on a tricycle and zoomed through a store where there was an adult size tricycle on display. It took him five minutes to figure out how to go in a straight line but not once did he fall off. It was amazing. He did not want the tricycle that day, but every time we go to that store he looks for it and rides it and I am confident that one day he will muster the courage to take it home, knowing he will not fail., as he did so many times when he tried to ride a bike (he doesn't even want to try those,, and I will NEVER ask him to). I wait patiently, for that day that he will want to bring that tricycle home because although I did not think to remove the pedals from his stupid bicycles (I'm not bitter, do I sound bitter?), I did think that a tricycle would put the wind in his hair and a smile on his face... and it did.

Now it's just a matter of time before he decides the isles are not long enough ,

I can't wait! =)

If you could ask HIM for anything, what would you ask for?

For every letter received, Macy's will donate $1 to the Make-A-Wish Foundation,

up to $1,000,000.
Help make wishes come true by writing your own letter to Santa!

Eye Contact, Priceless!

As you may or may not know, when GP was young and very much non verbal we thought he was deaf. We didn't know he was autistic, we just thought he couldn't hear because A. He didn't speak and B. He didn't look at us when we called him. Little did I know that was just one of the first signs that something was amiss... Well, GP could hear us just fine. He just didn't want to look at us because eye contact is just not something that autistic children are comfortable with.
To this day, I am constantly reminding GP to "Look at Mom"...

it goes something like this:

Mom, "Gene Paul did you find your belt?"

GP (looking around)"mumble,mumble..."

Mom" Gene Paul, did you find your belt? Eyes to Mom!"

GP, "Yes, I have it on!" (as if I can see it under his untucked shirt, duh!)

And so it goes, it's like a sentence that signifies, "Social interaction is required". It's as if he totally forgets to look at you when he speaks, even when HE initiates the conversation!

It's like "Yes, I was talking to you eventhough I was looking the other way and speaking softly...what? You didn' get that?" LOL!

While at the beach earlier this week I called him (Blackberry in hand, ready to snap his picture) and when I said "Gene Paul" He lifted his head and looked straight at me, and smiled . I think my heart skipped a beat. I can't believe I actually snapped the picture. He looked straight at me without a prompt. This is sooo rare, and I am so grateful for this small blessing.

Eye contact, it tells me that he hears me. It tells me that he sees me.

It tells me "I am here, Mom."

Eye contact, positively priceless!

On Being Alone in a Crowd

My vehicle's state inspection was due in April, and yet again, I had not had it inspected. Today I HAD to have it done, lest I be stopped and end up in some serious trouble (not sure what happens if you're caught without the inspection...they make you walk home, after they give you a hefty fine???)

Anyway, the problem was that it was HOT, muggy and just a bad day for GP so he did not want to go get out of the car once we arrived at the inspection site. He was already upset because it was too sunny so he had used the beach blanket to cover himself in the car and the only way I could get him out of the car was to tell him he could stay in his"tent"...

This is GP in the garage's waiting room.

A Mom's gotta do, what a Mom's gotta do!

(I took the pic with my cellphone; there was no one left in the waiting room and I don't think he even noticed.)

He sat there for twenty minutes and didn't make a sound.

Sometimes he just needs to be alone. =)

April was National Autism Awareness Month!

And I just wanted you to know what Autism looks like to me.

I would write about it but I just can't...

Thank God it's over!

Your Child on GPS, Priceless!

When GP was four years old, he walked out the door and disappeared. Literally! He was found by the police; he was identified by my description of what he was wearing, about a quarter of a mile from our home. He was nonverbal, he is autistic, he was easy prey and it was one of the worse days of my life. He had crossed two busy streets and was walking to Wendy's. He was hungry.

Hey, the child is autistic, not stupid! LOL!
After this dreadful day we lived in a dead bolted house, at all times. If there was a fire we would have had to break a window to flee our own home. It was a time of fear. Fear inside the home and fear outside of the home. I slept on the couch and Gino slept with GP; if he wandered at night I would "catch" him at the bottom of the stairs before he got into anything. We had the house covered but the "outside world" was still impossible. I looked into child tracking devices but they were impossibly expensive and just did not seem like the right fit for our needs. Anyway, time has brought us many advances and one of them is the cellphone.
Oh yes, GP has a cellphone. He actually has two, don't ask. I don't know why he has two. It's just one of those things that is... I guess he wants to be "really" sure he doesn't miss any calls. (Oh wait, the Puppy Spa is on his speed dial but grandma isn't. Please don't tell my Mom.)
Anyway, what I wanted to share was that today I found out that Blackberry has a GPS APP, and it's FREE!

OMG! I'm doing the happy dance, HOORAY! If his ringer is off I can still find him. This is probably not what this app was designed for, but I tell you...my Prince on GPS, Priceless!

Or $89/month before taxes,

depending on how you look at it. LOL!

Footnote:

It just occurred to me that you wouldn't get the Wendy's reference so here's a footnote. When GP was about three and a half he stopped eating "regular" food. It was a sensory thing. It was a long time ago so I choose to forget the worst of it but suffice it to say that for a few years all he ate was chicken nuggets from Wendy's. But this too did pass. Thank God! So when he was hungry he signed (ASL) eat and we would get in the car and drive to Wendy's... he knew the way, and he knew that's where they had the food he ate. He was hungry, I was busy, he decided to go without me. Smart Kid! It would have been nice if he had told me before he took off without me. Huh? When I was reunited with him I was sobbing and asking him "Gene Paul, where were you going? Why did you leave Mom?" and he smiled at me and signed "Eat!" That's the only time I have ever been in a cruiser. I could not walk and had to be driven home.

I would have killed for a GPS that day!

The Tale Of The Easter Bunny

We're at the Burlington Mall yesterday and suddenly GP is all worked up. He needs to talk to the Easter Bunny, he must talk to the Easter Bunny!

So down the escalator we go to see Mr Bunny. I tell him that Mr Bunny does not bring presents to children, he brings eggs (which GP does not eat) and chocolates (which are also on the "No, thanks." list). Once there, He says he needs to talk to him. I remind him that Mr Bunny does not bring presents (he has a huge set up. like Santa, so I want to make sure GP is not thinking Mr. Bunny has been promoted to Springtime Gift Giver). We go through the velvet cords and he sits right next to him, I ask if he wants a picture. He says "Just a minute." So I'm fending off the sales people who want to snap the $26 pictures... while GP is not even looking at the camera. He is engrossed in conversation and as I walk up to them yet again to ask if he wants his picture taken I overhear him, "You can speak, c'mon, don't be shy!" And Mr. Bunny is just shaking his his head in a "I love you" kind of way. And GP turns to me as I try to explain that Mr Bunny does not speak, he just gives love... and GP tells me, "But I want to know why he does not bring presents!".

OMG! That was hilarious. He was a boy on a mission. He wanted answers and he wanted them from Mr. Bunny. No more asking Mom. He was going to the source...

and then Mr. Bunny is too shy? UGH!

The things he thinks of, I tell you. He keeps me in stitches!

All Dogs Are Not Created Equal...

Take Pepper the Puppy Dog (PPD for short), now there she was was living the life of a latchkey dog just a few years ago and all of a sudden she finds herself thrown into the "emotional support animal" role. Sometimes I have to wonder what she really thinks of this job....

She gets squeezed and screeched at (yes, he does a little screeching when he hugs her to death and asks her in his loud voice, "Why are you staring at me Pepper?"...

and I wonder if she is thinking, "Was that really necessary?", LOL! Boy, she's a good dog to put up w/ his "love!"...

Happy New Year!

What a year, what a decade! I don't know about you but I am just glad it's over; HOORAY!
To close out the old decade my Prince and I hit the good ol' streets of Boston to join in the First Night 2010 Celebrations. What a wonderful night to walk in the streets and take in some pollution (can you say Traffic???), I mean fresh air, LOL!
We did the usual stuff, watched anime for hours, ate at the Prudential and saw the ice sculptures. The one behind GP was a depiction of a Michelangelo sculpture, it was amazing! I did have to explain it to GP who couldn't quite grasp it, he was enthralled by the lights and I think the sculpture itself was missing... I got some quizzical looks as I described it, "See there on the top? That looks like hair being blown away in the breeze? And then you can see her arms covering her privates, see?" And then he snapped/saw it, " OH, I SEE!" It had never ocurred to me why he didn't really enjoy the sculpture until I stopped looking at the sculpture and looked at him. He had that glazed over look that tells me he is not seeing what I see... and there it was, he was seeing the lights, not the sculpture. We stopped at a few more along our walk and I asked him what he saw and when he told me we would move on. No long gazing and admiring, just an appreciation for the art on display, and it was really art. Those sculptures were amazing.
My legs still ache from all the walking but I have to tell you, I am so glad we stepped out. It was the first time we were in Boston so close to midnight. We saw the fireworks at 7:00 as we walked to the most impressive cinema I have ever been to; OMG! If you have never been to the Loews Cinema in Boston Common, I say you go...go today, make it your destination. I tell you, it is worth the drive. It is AWESOME! GP of course was so not impressed. He had been here many times, he didn't even flinch at the splendor...as I gawked at the stenciled ceiling and the gilded concession stand... I have to wonder what other wonderful places he has been to. HMMM.
The night went off without a hitch. Even the Pepperdog waited for us to do her business outside. Can you beat that? I think not...now where did I put the Tylenol? I think my recovery might take all weekend. LOL! I have so much to share, but I am pooped. It's been a long few weeks. We just got back from TX at 2am on Wed. and Thursday we hit First Night (which should be called first day because the activities start at noon, hello?)... Anyway, did I mention that before we left for First Night I had to stack enough wood for the week because we expected rain today?
Nothing like walking for miles in full Winter gear after spending the morning stacking wood. I'm just sayin'.... gotta go find that Tylenol...Talk more later!
Hope your New Year Celebration was fun! Happy New Year! B=)

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

My Prince & The Big Guy Himself!

So GP goes out w/ Gino and comes home in a flurry of absolute delight; he is giddy with excitement and just looking at him I think he is looking more and more like a cat who has just eaten the Tweety Bird. After a bit of prompting he spits the bird out...

GP:"I talked to HIM!"

Mom: "Who?"

GP:"HIM!"

Mom: "Who is HIM?"

GP:"SANTA!"

At which point he is stimming , he is flapping like a bird about to take flight, and smiling so much I could not see his eyes. He is so excited I just could not help being excited for him. He continues his retelling of this adventure. He tells me he told HIM; he told HIM what he wanted for Xmas. Then I ask him," And what DO you want for Xmas?" To which he says, "NO! I already told HIM!" and he leaves me standing there, holding his coat, while he proceeds to pick up his dog and go straight upstairs to his room. LOL! I ask Gino, "What did he say to Santa?" and Gino, in typical male fashion says, "I dunno!", to which I reply, "That's not good!"

Let the holiday guessing game begin! LOL!

Cello at Homeschool?

Sometimes Homeschooling can be funny. Today GP looks at me and says, "I need music." I thought, "Well that's new..." and I told him he could get his Ipod and dock it while he worked. Up he goes, down he comes, Ipod in hand. He pops it in the docking station and declares, "Classical music is good to relieve stress!" OMG! That was too funny. So he puts the Ipod in and the cello is BLASTING, think Madonna, Marky Mark, Bruce Springsteen loud. And I'm thinking, "This is relaxing?" But I say nothing about the Concierto going on at Homeschool... as he continues to work. Then, when he is done with his task, he declares, "I need a break now!", (as if he was sweating it out or somethig, LOL!). I say, "OK" and he just gets up, pulls his Ipod from the docking station and leaves (Obviously I don't need "relaxing music", LOL!)... As my ears ring to the sounds of Yo-Yo Ma's cello I think, "That was NOT relaxing!" LOL!
GP uses "scripted" language to communicate/ make conversation. Scripted language is when you memorize complete sentences and then apply them to your everyday conversations.
For example, if he comes downstairs and there is someone there he will
say to that person, "OH! (this is his approach word- this is where he will halt, extend his hand to shake in greeting) Hello, please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Gene Paul. What's your name?" This is scripted language that allows him to step forward and interact in a safe, non threatening way with others. He will not be anxious about the other person if he faces his fear right off the bat, so he has a script for "meeting new people" that he applies when confronted with a "social situation" that might cause him anxiety. He has many other sentences for many other situations, this is just the first one that comes to mind.
When he says "classical music is good to relieve stress" he is not referring to HIS stress, he is telling me what he has read, which is why I think it's so funny. Stress? I would explain stress but that would be too complicated so I just smile and count my blessing! Scripted Language beats Silence, any day!B=)

Charity, it's simple!

I have to share with you one of the most amazing acts of charity that I have received because I can't even begin to tell you how many times I hear of people who say, "It's nothing" when in fact it is HUGE, and I mean HUGE, if you are on the receiving end.

We went to one of our local Panera eateries in Nashua (one of the very few places I am fortunate enough to be able to go and enjoy a stress free meal with GP because they take "have it your way" very seriously, and they are FAST as lightning!) Needless to say, they made his sandwich just the way he wanted it and in no time flat we were seated.

It was only after we were seated that GP tried his drink and handed me the cup saying "I need Sprite!" and Tasted the drink and yep, it was soda, but the syrup was missing. No problem, I think they'll just switch the tank and it's all good. WRONG! They were out of Sprite and I was up the creek without a paddle.

I swear when that woman offered me a substitution I looked at her with terror in my eyes and said, "My son is AUTISTIC", but could not say anything else. I stood there, out of words, and felt my eyes swell with tears. I had to face the fact that my son who was enjoying a wonderful lunch would NOT understand that they are out of syrup, and all hell would break loose. Just like that...as fast as you can snap your fingers...yes, that's how fast that is...it's all over! And as I stood back catching my breath and fighting my tears before I had to return to try to explain and "control my son" (ahem, discipline) to effectively exit "quickly and quietly", a young lady, no older than 20 came running out of the "sandwich prep" area and handed me a bottle of Sprite, just like the one pictured here. She handed me the bottle and said, "I had this in my lunch bag and I think you need it more than I do". I grabbed her and hugged her so tight I think she needed CPR when I let go. All I could say was, "You don't know what this means to me" but she was quick to reply,"I babysit a little boy with Autism, I understand" and she walked away. I caught my breath and returned to my table where GP greeted me with a big smile and a "THANK YOU!" that was loud and clear. I couldn't eat my own lunch having just "dodged the bullet" (you know how your knees wobble and you can feel your hands shaking after you have had a really bad scare? That's how it feels when you recover from a "what could have been" episode!) and knowing how blessed I had been because of that one young woman's simple act of charity. B=)

Mom Humor!

I saw this button and I laughed. Can you read the small print? It reads,"But Thanks for your concern" . I often hear about unruly children and the "irresponsible" parents that are raising them but I tell you that I don't know of anyone who gives their child more structure, love and discipline than I do and at 13, my Prince still has tantrums. We're not talking terrible two's tantrums. We're talking BIG, YELLING, SCREAMING, PUSHING tantrums... and no amount of discipline will stop them. Only a cure for Autism will. No amount of discipline can cure Autism, of this, I am certain!
When the smells that you and I cannot perceive stop giving him a headache, when that "noise" that we typical folks cannot hear, stops beating into his head like the sound of a dripping faucet when we are trying to sleep....When the waiters remember that "the cheese cannot touch the fries" means that if the fries touch the cheese and you just remove the cheese he can still smell it and he cannot wait 20 minutes for a fresh entree because he has schedules 30 minutes for lunch and after 30 minutes he is off schedule, which throws his mind into panic mode... (how hard is it to understand that when a MOM says, "MY SON IS AUTISTIC!" before she places her order it means, pay attention!")
So when I read this I had to laugh because laughter heals the soul and if I had a dollar for every time I have been stared at, a check for every time we've been gawked at...well, I might be a rich woman today.
Oh, an let me tell you that a "Do you need help?" when your child is bigger and stronger than you, and yelling at you to "fix it!" when the dumb*** waiter lets the cheese touch the fries, it is sometimes a true blessing. And I tell you, I would be happy to pay for your dinner, appetizer and dessert... if you just give my son your plate of "cheeseburger with ketchup and lettuce only with french fries that do not touch the cheese".
Gawking and staring and asking why that child is out of control will do nothing...offering a helping hand might count as your "act of charity" for that day.
You learn something new every day, so I thought I'd share a little bit of my "experience"...
You gotta laugh, if you don't want to cry! I need a hug! B=)

Teaching Faith, LONG!

How do you teach Faith to a child with Autism? First you have to teach him how to pray, and then you have to believe that YOUR prayers will be heard, and answered.

Case in point:

It's been raining, and raining, and raining.... and on Wednesday GP had had enough. He woke up and was in one of those moods that is reserved for noisy, crowded places. He was upset! Yep, "Good Moring", >growl<,"Don't tell me that!" OOps, no more talking to Mr. Grouchy! The rest of the morning goes in silence, then I invite him to his favorite Japanese restaurant for lunch (If anything has the power to cheer this kid up, it's Sushi!) and he perks up a bit and says,"Sure!"

Off we go to SOHO and no sooner had we been seated than the "problem" was revealed.
First, we go to SOHO's all the time. At least once a week since they opened almost two years ago. He is known by name and he knows everybody's name too. He always has a great time when we go there and the great food is just a bonus. Well, Julian (the owner's college age son) is our server today. He greets GP first, "Gene Paul how are you doing today? Are you getting ready for the Fourth of July?" And GP says "It's raining all Summer long! It's never going to stop! We need to

Stop this rain! The Summer will end if this rain doesn't stop!" And just like that, I found out what was wrong with GP. He was upset about the weather, duh!

What to do about the weather? HMMM... not much we can do, is there?

Once the cat was out of the bag it just went on, and on, and on, and on....you get the picture??? And all the way home he is telling me he must stop the rain. Frustrated and growing ever more upset myself that I had to endure this mood due to no fault of my own, I tell him, "I cannot change the weather, only God can do that. You have to ask God to change that, I cannot fix it." End of story!

Back to silence (It was a LONG day at the Mercado's), any attempt at conversation was blocked with "It's raining, it's never going to stop!" so why bother? The "been there, done that" reasonable person in me says,"Just drop it!" and no more conversations are happening here. You can hear a pin drop in this house. Until it's time for prayers... I tell GP "don't forget your prayers" and he says, "Don't tell me that!" which means I will not be joining in the prayers, he will say them on his own. OK, so I just listen to make sure he is saying his prayers (from a safe distance in the next room). Well here you go:

"Dear Lord, we thank you for the blessings in our lives. We thank you for the health and happiness that you bestow upon us. We thank you for the food the nourishes our body and

the home that shelters us from the snow (yes, we say this prayer even in the Summer!). Dear Lord, we thank you for our pets and ask that you help us be good pet owners so we can can keep our pets happy and healthy." Then he says....

"Dear Lord please help Pepper to have good eyes so she can see better. And Dear Lord, please stop this rain so we can have a sunny day this Summer. Dear Lord, please make it "to" stop raining". AND, then he says a special Lord's prayer for his "extra" request. It's a Catholic "thing"...don't ask, LOL! Anyway, I was so worried I could hardly sleep...

I had after all, told him that God could fix the weather, and sure enough, he took it up with the big guy. OMG! What if God was too busy taking care of the sick and the hungry to hear my son's prayer? How do I teach him to believe in something he cannot see???? Autism is about "seeing". There is no "abstract" in the Autism spectrum! That's why it's so hard to teach them reasoning, duh! Needless to say, this was not good. So what did I do? I prayed! I asked that HE answer my son's prayer... I didn't ask for world peace, I didn't ask for a cure for Autism. I didn't ask that he restore Pepper's eyesight but I did ask for one big "miracle". I asked for HIM to do this one little thing for GP, show him that HE could do it...make the rain go away.

And hold on to your hats...we woke to a glorious SUNNY DAY! What did GP say? "I said the prayers and God fixed the weather!" and what did I say? "I told you!"

I think my sigh was heard around the world! Sometimes you just need a little Faith! Thank you God, for the Sunny Day!