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I often hear about unruly children and the "irresponsible" parents that are raising them but I tell you that I don't know of anyone who gives their child more structure, love and discipline than I do and at 13, my Prince still has tantrums. We're not talking terrible two's tantrums. We're talking BIG, YELLING, SCREAMING, PUSHING tantrums... and no amount of discipline will stop them. Only a cure for Autism will. No amount of discipline can cure Autism, of this, I am certain!When the smells that you and I cannot perceive stop giving him a headache, when that "noise" that we typical folks cannot hear, stops beating into his head like the sound of a dripping faucet when we are trying to sleep....When the waiters remember that "the cheese cannot touch the fries" means that if the fries touch the cheese and you just remove the cheese he can still smell it and he cannot wait 20 minutes for a fresh entree because he has schedules 30 minutes for lunch and after 30 minutes he is off schedule, which throws his mind into panic mode... (how hard is it to understand that when a MOM says, "MY SON IS AUTISTIC!" before she places her order it means, pay attention!")
So when I read this I had to laugh because laughter heals the soul and if I had a dollar for every time I have been stared at, a check for every time we've been gawked at...well, I might be a rich woman today.
Oh, an let me tell you that a "Do you need help?" when your child is bigger and stronger than you, and yelling at you to "fix it!" when the dumb*** waiter lets the cheese touch the fries, it is sometimes a true blessing. And I tell you, I would be happy to pay for your dinner, appetizer and dessert... if you just give my son your plate of "cheeseburger with ketchup and lettuce only with french fries that do not touch the cheese".
Gawking and staring and asking why that child is out of control will do nothing...offering a helping hand might count as your "act of charity" for that day.
You learn something new every day, so I thought I'd share a little bit of my "experience"...
You gotta laugh, if you don't want to cry! I need a hug! B=)
7 comments:
I will give you a BIG Hug for being such a wonderful mom! I teach autistic children and I feel your pain. Hang in there, you are awesome!! (And don't let that cheese touch the fires! I don't like that either!)
Love and hugs to you today!!!!
You got it Brenda. The biggest a** hug that can come across the internet.
You know...and I'm sure that you do know...that Autism wasn't even spoken about til not that long ago. I for one was completely in the dark about it until I met a friend's friend who had an Autistic son. Jimmy was about the same age then as your son is now and Zoe, his Mom, was a wee little thing. Well Zoe started to be afraid of Jimmy because when he lost control, he could physically pick her up and toss her across the room...not because he didn't love her...but because whatever demons were gnawing at him inside made him lose control and that's how he reacted.
My heart goes out to you Brenda. And I'm sure you've heard this a million times as well...God gave you an Autistic child only because he knew that you were the person who could handle it and do the best for him.
You are indeed a very special person. GIANT hugs to you!
Love that! I have a dear 7 year old nephew who is autistic. I have learned so much about human beings because of him.
(((hugs)))
As a playgroup assistant my experience with autism has been limited. We have one boy this year that I think sits somewhere on the autistic spectrum and I have learned very quickly about schedules, routine and methods to deal with the unexpected. It's such a tough one to understand and your post highlighting autism can only help educate those who don't know any better. Well Done!
Sending a great big hug your way! x
Hugs, Brenda!! I can only imagine since I don't have an autistic child. But I do have a hperactive one and to a small degree changes and disappointments would make him react similarly. I can relate to your Sprite story (on my smaller scale) the tight chest, can't breathe when you have to break the bad news. My son is 25 and it still is tough at times, so thank you for sharing your story, it helps me and I will be more alert when I am in public.
I had two children before my hyperactive one and would ask my sister how I could go from a good mother to a bad one in just one child!!! She was always there to hug me!!
You are great!!
The biggest hug to you. Reading that entry reminds me of me and my son and how I dread those times when he can't wait for things or if he breaks something he will want it fixed that second or he will keep asking me to fix it. Thank you for sharing your story. I felt so alone when my son has his tantrums and all the mums look at me like why can't you discipline him. I feel your pain. My method at the moment is pay and run as quickly as possible.
Liam
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