Saturday, March 24, 2012

The Movers Are Coming, The Movers Are Coming!

Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and take the plunge into oblivion. You cannot procrastinate forever and although you might want to, you have to
"Just Do It!".
I started preparing GP for this transition almost a year ago. I walked him through house after house with me in the hopes that I would see something in him that told me "this is the house", and it never happened. His house is here, where he grew up and where he stores his "precious memories" (yes, that is a direct quote, straight from GP's mouth), and no house will ever measure up. No matter what it has, how big it is or how much I try, this is his house and I cannot change that. It is what it is. It's taken me a long time to "man up" to this, but I am so there. I am too tired to try to believe otherwise. I cannot change this, and I must accept it.
I've delayed calling the movers for weeks. I closed on the house and started packing and moving over bits and pieces of furniture. A table, chairs, baskets.... every single piece was a struggle. A tug of war with GP who will not ease up on my exhausted body and weary soul. It's as if I am shredding his life to pieces and breaking apart his home. It's not just a relocation to him, it's a loss of security and a plunge into the depths of the unknown. To me, it's "room to spread out", "room to grow" and to him it's almost as if the grim reaper has parked himself at our doorstep and he must stave him off. Except the grim reaper is mom and he must fight and argue his point of view until he beats some sense into me. It is EXHAUSTING! I close my eyes and I can almost hear his anger laden voice telling me, "We're NOT moving!" and see him taking the boxes out of the car. UGH! It's a tug of war. Every single day...
How long can I do it? Not much longer.
Yesterday I had the last estimate for the movers and they are coming to pack up what is left and haul it all into the new house. ALL OF IT! Yep, like a bandaid ripped to stop the pulling, I contracted movers to pack us up and just get it over with; in two days. GP was off with Gino and with Sharon helping me (it takes more than one beat up Mom to have a backbone) I did it, I signed on the dotted line and said, "Stick a fork in me, I'm done!"
In two days my house will be swarming with people, paper and boxes, and in complete chaos; but on Wednesday we will be in our new home (piled high with boxes, I'm sure), finally.
There will be tears for my handsome boy and for me, I'm sure. His of sadness, mine of relief... but it will be done. What a hard road I have travelled, and I am not "there" yet.
Baby steps, and lots of movers will help me across the threshold... I am so ready.
Here are some pictures of the new house.
This is the back of the house from the yard. The lower level has a game room that leads onto a mahogany deck. It is surrounded by a lovely little garden and a Koi pond. There are loads of plants coming up in the garden but I can only guess as to what they will be. It's like a gift that cannot be opened. I just have to wait and see what is there.
The upper level is screened porch where I dream of hanging a hammock.
Maybe after the dust has settled I will, but for now it's just a cute little room overlooking the backyard, the pool and the cute cabana which GP has dubbed, "The Clubhouse, for members only!"
The coolest feature of the clubhouse is that it has a little window, like a tiki bar, that lifts up so you can sit at a stool and chat with whomever is inside. You could order a drink, if it weren't completely empty (kind of like most of the house...). I think I will need a few drinks by the time this "clubhouse" is open so I am looking forward to becoming a "member". LOL
I'll share more pictures soon.
Today I am taking the day off and heading away from this half packed mess to clear my mind.
My heart skips a beat when I think of the chaos that awaits us on Monday but I am truly excited that it will be over soon... I can't wait!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Ten Days of Mayhem

My search for a new house has finally come to an end.
How long and arduous a task it has been.
When I began my search almost a year ago I thought that by Fall I would have been in my new house and almost a year after starting this full time endeavor, it has finally happened. I've purchased my house and I am now packing up almost sixteen years of my life, and preparing to move it across town to our new house.
Wow, what a challenge lays ahead as the packing begins in earnest. My goal is to have moved in by the end of the month. Ten days from today. Please say a little prayer for me as I put on my big girl undies and begin this journey. This is no small task, but with the help of family and friends, I am hopeful that it will be as uneventful as possible.
We shall ignore GP's pleas to "Stop packing my things!" and his daily mantra of "I'm not moving" and pray for him to come around and love this wonderful new house that I will work diligently at transforming into a home where wonderful new memories will be made. Pictures to follow soon!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Remembering Mama Billa

This morning my beloved grandma, Mama Billa as we all called her, passed away in her sleep. She had been in the hospital for a week now and I started mourning her loss then. We all knew it was inevitable, and there was nothing to be done, therefore the goal was to make her parting as painless as possible. Although it really doesn't make it less sad, the fact that she died peacefully in her sleep is of some comfort to me and those who loved her.
My grandma was no wallflower. Married at 14, she was the mother of 15 children. She was the matriarch of her family. Growing up I can remember her at the head of the table leading the rosary. I remember her sitting in a chair braiding tobacco while all the children deveined it. My grandfather was a farmer, and all his children worked the farm until they left the house. None of that, "I'm not doing that!" If you lived there, you worked... you sat at the table, you had a bowl of beans to shell, you sat on the porch, there were peanuts to shell... busy hands are happy hands... work,work,work. Funny the things that one remembers. When my grandfather died many, many years ago, she kept her family in check. She was a small little woman, under five feet tall, and when she spoke we stopped and listened. She was sweet, caring and soooooo loved by all. She lived in her home, assisted by her daughters until last week, she was 92 years young.
I will always love her, and miss her.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Life Changes In An Instant

Pepperdog on 02/28/2012.
Some days are harder to face than others... our beautiful Pepperdog suffered a ruptured aortic valve yesterday (just 24 hours after this pic was taken), and I chose to euthanize her rather than put her through open heart surgery. She was 12 and in her golden years. She was half deaf, half blind and had developed a thyroid problem; then her little heart just decided it had had enough so it gave way, just enough so we could say goodbye. What a hard day it was. I thought today would be easier, but it hasn't been. I miss her.
I'm so sad...